Allow me to introduce you to a new series: You, Me, and a Cup of Tea. The idea behind this series came to me one evening last week. I was venting to my husband about work and life, and generally small little things that just crawled under my skin and that I needed to talk to someone about. That’s when it came to me! I don’t go out with girl friends. It’s not just a Covid thing, it’s just nothing I have actually taken the time or energy to do (and trust me, I mean large amounts of energy to socialize outside of my own physical comfort zone). I didn’t realize until a few years ago just how introverted I really am. I use to be a social butterfly and I would go out all the time, but it always left me so utterly burnt out. After being married for a few years and encouraged by husband to find my true self, I came to know myself better. I realized I was being a yes girl; a people pleaser. I didn’t actually enjoy going out. It drained me more than I ever admitted. I just thought that’s what I was “supposed” to be doing at 21 years old.
I started adjusting myself to the comfort of my introverted ways and quite quickly started feeling so much better. I was also maturing and changing as a wife and mother, which inevitably leads to friendships changing or fading. I tried to force a few things for a while. I would go out with “friends” that I wasn’t really close to just to do it, thinking that everyone should have an outlet and that’s what an “outlet” was. With a few exceptions, those outings would leave me drained. However, among all of this, I realized I could sit at home and visit with friends for hours. I can hold a phone conversation until my cell battery dies. I can email and instant message until the cows come home. I just can’t GO OUT, that’s where the drain happens. So this series was born.
You, me, and cup of tea is going to be exactly that. I will ramble. I will ask rhetorical questions and not so rhetorical questions. I will make observations. I will vent. This is just 2 friends over tea or coffee. I hope that you will do the same. Please write back. Please vent to me. Please make random statements that just get something off your chest. This is for both of us. What this won’t be, is the basis of my blog. This will be a once a month splurge, something that can birdwalk every which way.
With all of that being said, let’s start with this month’s chat.
What is your favorite chit chat beverage? That cup of something that you always reach for or order when your going for a chat with “the girls.” I personally have a couple. I am a sucker for a cold brew iced coffee, no matter the time of year, preferably sugar free and dairy free. If I have to give up one or the other, I will give up sugar free and take the dairy free, as dairy sends me into a deeper flare up of my PCOS and endometriosis than sugar does, although neither one do me any favors. I don’t have to have any flavor syrup or anything, but I will never say no to a bit of caramel or mocha.
My other go to is tea, hence the name of the series. I don’t like matcha in anything other than smoothies, but most other teas are pretty good. I love almost all herbal teas, a good chunk of the fruit teas, and in true geek fashion, Earl Grey, hot (we are still counting geek points, it’s a thing!). I love my tea iced or hot, but I do NOT like it sweet or with cream. Nope, nope, nope. I can’t drink my coffee black, but I can’t drink my tea dressed up… go figure.
So here we are, you now know what I’m up to with this idea and we have our drinks figured out. Sooooooo, hi. I’m Kay. Actually, I’m Kezia (pronounced keh-zee-uh), but explaining that and it’s pronunciation to everyone all the time is tiresome. After about 3 bosses not being able to figure it out, I gave up and just adopted the first letter, K. That looked hilarious on company letters, so I modified it to Kay. I am still Kezia in my personal life, but this is the last you will hear of it on here. Kay is simpler. It translates better in writing. We’ll just keep it simple, Kay it is.
The name Kezia is a girl’s name of Hebrew origin meaning “cassia tree”.
A related name is the lovely cinnamon-scented Cassia, which beginning to be discovered by lovers of the fashionable Cas- clan.
https://nameberry.com/babyname/Kezia
As of today, I am 31…or 32…pretty sure I’m 31. Yes, I am in fact 31 right now. I felt from a young age that I was a soul of 27 years old… and that’s about when I started losing track of how old I was. Especially after I turned 30, I way gave up on keeping track. It’s depressing. Seeing it in writing is even more so. When I hit 40 like my husband, I may just give up entirely and start saying, “I’m just old, that’s all you need to know.”
Yes, my husband is 40. We are 8.5 years apart. I never did find anyone my age or younger all that attractive mentally or physically (with like, 1 or 2 exceptions). With that being said, I did have a decade rule when I was dating; Nobody more than 10 years older than me. That just felt weird. When my husband and I met, everything just fit together. There was no honeymoon phase. We were both 100% upfront with all of our quirks and oddities from the get-go and it just worked. We met towards the end of October in 2010 and were married February 2011 in a very simple certificate signing at the county building. Nothing big, nothing fancy, just us being us and agreeing to love each other regardless of life. We’ve managed pretty well in the last 10 years, with a few bumps and bruises, but we’ve made it so far!
I think that’s a pretty good introduction to me, I don’t want to spoil all the fun in the first run. Do you see what I mean yet? Just chitchat. This is where I hope we will get to know each other a little bit better. All of life’s little bumps, good and bad. It could be fun, especially if you participate, but I can hold a one sided conversation if necessary. If you ever feel it is getting old, please tell me (see, I’m not totally over my people pleasing), I’ll try something different.
“Girl talk. That thing I’ve always been so bad at.”
― Suzanne Collins, Catching Fire
What kinds of things do you want to talk about next? The next installment will be at the beginning of February, so you have some time to think and let me know. This is your chance to have input in the conversation. If you don’t know, that’s ok too. Like I said, I’m a pretty good chatterbox as long as I’m in my comfort zone physically. And I am, in my cozy chair, in my bedroom, watching Star Trek reruns, in my jammies. It doesn’t get much more comfy than that, unless one of my 3 cats wants to come cuddle.
Confidence By Kay 
Hi Kay, I really liked your blog post. Can I tell you a secret? I write heaps, and read my own writing a lot, but i am a lazy reader. I like to consume my content over video or audio if i can.
But you my dear friend, engaged me. I feel like i know you. Isnt it funny how we follow society and think we have to adjust because we are the ones that’s “broken”. You captured the message really well. Its so loving, and you show genuine interest to get to know someone.
I oscillate between being an introvert and an extrovert. I’m a real sucker to yack with a random stranger about god knows what. Just like im doing now, but in a social setting, I also get drained. I feel like “Ok… now im bored. This show is going on for too long.”.
I have now decided to leave the party when i feel its time to leave. I think the “draining” happens because we go over our limit. I mean, we can’t dictate topic in a social gathering, so if the topics are boring, we have to try.
Anyway .. These days i am struggling with the beverage when going out. I used to love my booz, but I can’t hold it well anymore. I am your husband’s age, born in 1980. But i do like the taste of Beer, or a cocktail. If I’m to choose a non-alcoholic, i would go for a long black or a hot chocolate. Oh… Or Lemmon-lime-bitters. I actually don’t think i like it that much though. I don’t know why i drink it.
Yay! This was a good convo. Good luck.
🤗🤗🤗
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Thank you so much! That was the whole point of this series, and I’m glad you understood that. I am a very conversational style writer. I have been since my “far gone” youth.
As for yacking with a stranger, I can do that too…I do, do that. But like you said, when enough is enough it’s time to bail and you need to know your personal limits BEFORE that happens. And you LIKE the taste of beer? Yuck! My husband does too, but I think it’s just liquid earwax in a bottle. I am a seagrams or sparkling wine type myself…all of the 3 or so times a year I actually drink.
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